Five steps
Empowering your allergy child
When you have a child with food allergies, even simple things come packed with a bundle of extra safety steps that make life feel anything but spontaneous or fun. And going out with friends (without an adult hanging over their every bite) can add a whole new level of potential anxiety... for you and them.
The way to help them navigate their life safely and happily is to have PLANS. Knowledge gives confidence and freedom to be like everyone else, even when they feel anything but.
Follow my five-step plan and watch your young one grow.
It all comes down to PLANS.
PRACTICE:
Ideally, this should be an ongoing part of your lives, so everything becomes normal and instinctive. That makes anxiety fade away.
Each day: Get your child to help pack their own bag, including Epi-pen and medication if required, plus a copy of their allergy action plans and list of allergens to show serving staff: it’s easy to forget one allergen if you have multiple allergies. Keep this in the same place by the door, so it’s always picked up on the way out.
Regularly: Include your child in shopping trips and let them choose foods they like, encouraging them to read labels and ask questions. If you’re off to a coffee shop or snacking out of home, involve them in asking for food and telling staff what they need. It’s good to role play these events at home. Keep doing it until it feels natural.
LABELS and Looking at others:
Learning to understand labels on packaged food is key to staying safe when out and about. If your child is going to a place that’s making food at the serving point, they can learn to watch for potential cross contamination during the preparation.
Each day: Ask your child to check labels in your home and tell you which allergens are contained within. This helps them to identify what they can and can’t eat.
Regularly: Take them shopping and ask them to choose safe foods for all of you to share. It helps them understand when it’s safe to share... only when they know what they’re eating.
ADVOCATING for themselves:
Show them that it’s good to ask for what they need and to explain what they can’t eat. Again, role playing at being a customer and asking what’s in a dish is a good way to learn that speaking up for yourself is empowering and gives you freedom.
Each day: Make it part of your daily life... when they come to the kitchen and ask what’s for dinner, they should also ask whether it’s safe and free from their allergen. Maybe, learn to ask whether it’s made in different fryer or a separate part of the kitchen.
Regularly: When their friends are round, get them to explain to their friends the things they’ve learnt about food labelling and checking for how food is prepared. Their group will learn how to advocate on your child’s behalf, and there’s safety in numbers.
No!
The Power of ‘No,’ and making sure they have alternative food or snacks, so they can feel comfortable and part of the gang when their friends can eat. Support them in how to say “No” and not be afraid to speak up for themselves.
Each day: Role playing different situations with the whole family, where you each need to say “No” politely but firmly. Make it as daft or serious as you want. “Do you want some carpet with that sandwich?” Or “These pizzas contain [your allergen]. Shall we buy them?”
Regularly: When you’re out together, if a café or restaurant can’t be clear on their ingredients or preparation, show them that it’s good to say “no” and go elsewhere if they can’t be certain they’ll be able to keep you safe. Include your child in the decision, so they can feel empowered in the process.
Safety gear and Snacks:
Coming back to step 1 (P) making sure that preparing your child’s bag becomes part of their daily routine and that they are responsible for packing their medication and Epi pen, then bringing it to you to check. This will ensure that they feel confident when they’re going out and that they’ll be safe if anything happens.
Each day: Packing their own bag and asking for it to be checked should be as normal as brushing their teeth.
Regularly: Update their safe snacks. That might involve a wander round the supermarket aisles or getting them to help you make portable snacks or bars at home.
Once your family has mastered these steps ... YES, do involve the whole family... you will all feel calmer and more confident about navigating life outside of the home.
These points and more are covered in Davina’s book, ‘Have you ever seen a Bee with Hives? All you need to know about food allergies and how to deal with them’. Aimed at children aged 8+ and backed by doctors, dietitians and allergy children, it covers everything from what to eat, how to avoid cross contact, asking for what you need with confidence, beating the bullies, gaining courage and confidence through knowledge and much more...